« back

The Online Romance of Brad and Angelina: Part 3 (Tips and Thoughts)

When Angelina confided her story to me via Internet, I was both vexed and perplexed. Based on her accounts, I felt it was unfair for Angelina to go through the agony and the pain of break up and abandonment just because of one man’s irresponsibility and unfaithfulness. But it had happened already, and she had shed so many tears.

The following are MUTC’s tips and thoughts on how Angelina or anyone similarly situated can survive a failed marriage and move on especially when in a place far from home:

1. Prayers can move mountains. She needs to pray fervently to God for enlightenment, guidance and for emotional and physical healing. Lifting up her eyes with all her worries to heaven will ease the burden and calm her troubled mind as God will take care of it. There is no need to further blame her on why she swiftly embark on marriage without performing “due diligence” on the background of her future partner in life.

2. Never Run After Men. She needs to stop contemplating on initiating a tete-a-tete conversation with him. This may only result hurting herself. The die has been cast already. You know men when they make decisions, they’re normally not fickle minded unlike women. Even if the man is still interested with her, he’s not worth the try after what he’s done to her. She should refrain from begging for him to be with her again. Men get turned off when women run after them, particularly if they’re not interested anymore. Maybe in the future if she is ready to face him and with no intentions to win him back, that would be the time to talk and patch up.

3.Have a happy disposition in life. It is okay to cry but stop shedding so much tears. Stop thinking of the good times, instead learn on how to cope with the situation. Avoid worries and depression. It might affect her health too. Be nice, friendly and portray a happy and positive disposition in life. God loves her, that’s what is more important.

4.Take care, pamper and love herself. Change for the better, even her physical appearance, probably a new hair do or wardrobe. Make herself feel good about herself and the beauty and goodness inside her will shine through.

5.Learn new things. Get involve in other areas of interest or enroll in school while she still has the enthusiasm to study further. If she has no enough money for higher studies, at least enroll in short term technical courses, such as web or graphic design which are in demand these days.

6.Cross the rubicon. Don’t dwell in the past. Focus on the present and future. If possible, dispose all of the things that reminds her of him. Everything about him is just a part of her past. He married her for convenience; he considered and treated her like a material thing, He didn’t deserve her love, at all. She should instead maintain contact with her family and loved ones back home. They are the people who will always be at her side, no matter what.

7.Last, but not least, she does not have to go straight into another relationship especially on the web. She has to learn the lessons of her past relationship. It would also be good to have a careful calculation and assessment of the background of men coming to her life. For example, there may be need to check if the guy has health problems, e.g. bipolar disorders and the like. I may not be a medical practitioner but Brad may be suffering from any mental illness or episodes of lucid intervals. The way Brad violently reacts to certain matters is something iffy and odd.

There is actually nothing wrong going out with other men but not so soon and after a break up or separation. Socializing with friends and with a group of “good” company may temporarily ease the pain but is no guarantee for absolute happiness. She should be extra cautious to take the leap , there are so many “fake” men around, hence, she should not get emotionally and physically attached to men at this early stage. Of all the above-mentioned recommendations, No.1 is a sure thing!

Angelina decided to live alone in a foreign land, struggling to move on and has decided to focus her time on working to sustain his day to day needs. But in her lonely times, what happened to their marriage still haunts her. In fact, she wanted to initiate and open communications with Brad. She still loves him despite what he did to her. She requested my “sisterly” advice on what to do and how to survive after the failed marriage. To date, Angelina may have been successful already in her business ventures. The project we have entered into has been completed already. Hoping and wishing that she is perfectly well, and her business endeavors as well.

Hope you’ve learned some lessons from this experience. Should you have other comments for Angelina or to someone experiencing similar situations who happens to bump into my webplace and read this, please indicate your suggestions below. It would be of help. Thank you.